Anni Townend is a thinking partner to leaders, executive coach to leaders and their teams, and author who has spent over thirty years helping leaders and their teams build confidence, navigate transitions, and create cultures where people feel seen and heard. She's the author of 'Assertiveness and Diversity,' co-founder of Collaboration Equation™ and Walking Partnerships™, and host of the podcast Leaders in Conversation with Anni Townend™. Anni and I connected years ago through the Marketing Society, and her thinking on confidence, courage, and open conversation has shaped how I approach my own coaching work. I'm so glad to share her voice here.
Erin: You've spent over thirty years coaching leaders through transitions—new roles, new teams, new chapters. What do you notice happens to people's confidence during these moments, even among the most senior leaders?
Anni: Change and transition—whether planned or unplanned, sudden or the kind that creeps up on us—usually involves the experience of loss. Something we knew, something we'd grown comfortable with, is no longer available to us. A connection to someone, something, or even a part of our identity shifts. And it's during these times that our confidence in who we are, and our belief in ourselves, can falter.
What I've learned about myself is that during these times I need to believe in myself and—most importantly—trust myself. Especially when a transition is really, really hard. Acknowledging how difficult it is, expressing how we feel and what we think, can help us move through the feelings and slowly find ourselves again.
People are people. Even the most seemingly confident person can experience times of change as challenging. But I've found that leaders who pay attention to their experience of change—who know what parts of a transition will be difficult for them—are able to stay more confident and resilient.
Erin: You talk about assertiveness as a core leadership skill, and you've written a book on it. Yet it seems like a word people shy away from. Why do you think assertiveness is so underused, and what does healthy assertiveness actually look like in practice?
Anni: Assertiveness often gets mixed up with aggressiveness. People think it's about getting what you want or saying what you think—but that misses the point. Assertiveness is a two-way conversation. It's about taking ownership of what I know, think, and feel, and sharing it in a way that also considers the impact on you. In aggressiveness, it's all about me. In healthy assertiveness, we're considerate of each other.
I also remember having conversations about gender and assertiveness when my book was published almost twenty years ago. When men speak up or ask for what they want, it's accepted—they're seen as assertive. When women do the same thing in the same way, they're often judged as aggressive, too pushy. I think for this reason many women hold back from speaking up.
Erin: Open conversation is at the heart of everything you do. But genuinely open conversation—the kind where people feel seen and heard—doesn't happen by accident. What does it take to create those conditions, especially when a team or a leader is under pressure?
Anni: I've always been interested in what's not being said. From an early age I noticed that people often didn't say what they meant—sometimes quite the opposite. The first time I felt truly seen and heard was in a group setting in my early twenties, with a facilitator who had created an environment where people really listened, talked, and expressed a range of emotions while being held safely.
Creating these conditions requires intention, attention, and action. Whether in person or online, I believe we can have genuinely open conversation when we consciously set about creating the conditions for it. When a leader is under pressure, the focus often shifts unconsciously from human connection to the transactional. We literally overlook each other. For the leader who is under pressure, I encourage you to stop, pause, and acknowledge the pressure you and others are under.
Erin: You're known for your Walk and Talk approach—taking coaching conversations outdoors. What shifts when you take a conversation out of the boardroom and into nature?
Anni: There's something about being outside that helps people have a different conversation. Nature offers us a different environment, a different perspective—one that's changing around us season to season, day by day. Being outside invites us to be expansive, to open ourselves outward and forward whilst moving inward. I notice how walking facilitates pauses—to breathe on the uphill, to look around. There's an ease with silence that's different from sitting across a table.
Erin: If someone reading this is in the middle of a transition right now—a new role, a career pivot, a moment where their confidence has taken a knock—what would you want them to know?
Anni: The words that immediately come to mind are trust and love. The word confidence comes from the Latin 'with trust'—in ourselves. To have faith in ourselves, it's so important to know who you are, to connect with what really matters to you, your values and beliefs, and to know why you are here. In practical terms: have someone to talk to—an executive coach, a trusted friend—who will listen and ask questions. Do something physical that encourages you to breathe and stretch. Above all, be kind to yourself and others.
What strikes me most about Anni's work is how she weaves the practical with the profound. Confidence isn't a personality trait you're born with—it's something you build, lose, and rebuild through trust, connection, and the courage to keep showing up. If you'd like to learn more about Anni's work, I'd encourage you to explore her podcast, Leaders in Conversation with Anni Townend™, or reach out to her directly.